Coral Gables Mayor Vince Lago had another emotional meltdown on the Coral Gables dais this week. But this time, it wasn’t about Commissioner Melissa Castro. It wasn’t about Ariel Fernandez. And it wasn’t about the Coral Gables Gazette or — sadly for me — Political Cortadito.
No, this week the target of Lago’s righteous fury was Miami New Times.
Yes, the alternative weekly. The free paper. The one with the naughty covers. The one Lago insists nobody reads — while holding it aloft like a cursed object in a medieval exorcism.
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It began, as these things often do, with someone committing the unforgivable sin of noticing what happened at the last commission meeting. You may recall that at the January 13 meeting, the mayor stormed off the dais in a huff — twice. Probably because he couldn’t get a second to censure Castro for some ridiculous reason. When the video of that meeting later appeared 
online, those little outbursts had mysteriously vanished. Poof. Gone. Like they never happened.
New Times wrote a story asking why.
Activists Maria Cruz and Rip Holmes brought it up — por supuesto — during public comments. She called the editing a cover up. Holmes called it “tampering with public records.s”
“Of course, I’m sure we’re going to say it was done because it didn’t look good for the city,” Cruz said. “But my question is was it not good for the city or was it not good for the mayor? Because obviously his behavior was not acceptable.”
But instead of answering the simple question — who ordered the edits? — Mayor L’Ego decided to stage a half-hour dramatic reading of Why The New Times Is Out To Get Me.
He brought props. He brought a slideshow. He brought a copy of the newspaper.
He might as well have brought a fainting couch.
First, Lago assured us he is absolutely not bothered by the New Times article. He is so unbothered, in fact, that he devoted a at least 30 minutes of a public commission meeting — taxpayer-funded and televised — to explain how deeply unbothered he is.
Sure. Just like he is unbothered by the Miami Herald and Actualidad Radio, who he sued after a show aired information about an ethics investigation into the mayor’s lies about his family’s involvement in the Little Gables annexation efforts.
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Then came the accusation: the story was “fed” to New Times by one of the commissioners. A brief round of “Was it you?” followed. Everyone denied it. The mystery remains unsolved. Stay tuned for next week’s episode.
Next, the mayor unveiled his evidence board. Not about video editing. Not about transparency. Not about why the public record was altered.
No — about newspaper boxes.
Yes. Metal boxes. On sidewalks. The true threat to democracy in Coral Gables.
Lago presented photographs of New Times distribution boxes he claims are unsightly and not ADA compliant. This, he explained, 
proves the newspaper has a vendetta against him. Because he — noble guardian of The City Beautiful — has been bravely battling rogue newspaper boxes for years.
But Ladra bets the Power Point was created after the first New Times story Monday.d
Besides, which is it, mayor? Did someone feed them the story or did they write it in retaliation for your code enforcement efforts?
Finally, the showstopper: Lago held up the latest issue of New Times, pointed at the cover — a piggy bank in lingerie — and announced that the paper has no substance, no readership, and exists only to publish “pay-to-play hit pieces.”
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He then reminded us he does not read it. Which is impressive, considering how thoroughly he critiqued its content.
Meanwhile, the actual issue — whether a public government video was edited to remove embarrassing behavior by an elected official — floated quietly out the window, unaddressed, unanswered, and unresolved.
In Coral Gables, it seems, we enforce standards for newspaper boxes, but not necessarily for public transparency.
And somewhere, I confess, I felt a twinge of professional jealousy. I remember when Mayor Lago used to reserve this level of theatrical outrage for me. Now New Times has stolen my spot as his media nemesis.
But don’t worry, Mayor. Ladra is still here. I’ll just make sure to watch the meetings live from now on. Just in case of editing.
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Coral Gables Mayor Vince Lago has a new enemy target: Miami New Times added by Ladra on
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