Six of the 13 candidates in the Nov. 4 Miami mayoral race will face off on stage at the Hyatt Regency downtown for a real, bonafide debate starting at 7 p.m. Tuesday.
They are: Miami Commissioner Joe Carollo, former Commissioner Alex Díaz de la Portilla, former City Manager Emilio Gonzalez, Miami-Dade Commissioner Eileen Higgins, former Miami Commissioner
Ken Russell and former Miami-Dade Commissioner Xavier Suarez, the first Cuban-born mayor of Miami in 1985, wanting a comeback 40 years later.
For those of us who are watching from home — it will be broadcast live on CBS News Miami — there’s something we can do to make it more, um, soportable. This is the first Political Cortadito-sanctioned drinking game and everyone is urged to be responsible and stay put. Don’t pull a Pepe Diaz and get arrested for DUI.
Read related: Miami mayoral hopefuls face off — but only the “top six” make debate cut
Since there are a few expected quips, zingers and BS lines to come out of the candidates’ mouths Tuesday night, why don’t we play along? The rules are real simple. Take a bottle of your choice of alcohol. And then follow these instructions, carefully.
Take a sip or a shot when:
- Joe Carollo interrupts someone before they finish their sentence.
Alex Díaz de la Portilla blames the media, the feds, or “political enemies.”- Emilio González says “manager” or “efficient government.”
- Eileen Higgins mentions transparency or accountability.
- Ken Russell tries to play the peacemaker.
- Xavier Suárez references his experience or calls back to the “old days.”
Take two sips or two shots when:
- Someone mentions corruption at City Hall (that’s your chugging category).
- Carollo and DLP start yelling at each other like it’s a 2020 commission meeting.
- Gonzalez brings up the lawsuit against the city that put the election back on the ballot.
- Higgins gets talked over by more than one man at a time.
- Russell pulls out a prop (a yo-yo does not count).
- Suárez says something completely out of left field that makes the audience laugh nervously.
Finish your drink or take a triple if:
- Anybody actually answers a question directly without pivoting.
- One of the candidates calls another a liar on stage.
- CBS News Miami Anchor and moderator Eliott Rodríguez threatens to cut off someone’s mic.
- Somebody in the audience gets escorted out.
Ladra is going to be doing tequila shots. So you, dear readers, will have to excuse the “typos” in the recap Wednesday. Or maybe Thursday.
Thank you for reading Political Cortadito. If you want to support more of this independent, grassroots local watchdog journalism, you can make a contribution here. And thank you for your support.
