You know how they say that everybody has a double?
We often like to compare ourselves to our celebrity lookalikes and our loved ones to our silver screen heroes 
or damsels in distress. Why should politicians be any different?
My comparison of Cutler Bay Mayor Ed “Big Mac Daddy” MacDougall to action movie star John Wayne — not just in appearance and because Wayne starred in a film called Green Berets, but also just because they share the same swagger — made me think of other electeds and their lookalikes.
After too many hours of this guilty pleasure distraction, Ladra brings you Political Cortadito’s first volume of what will likely be a regular series: Political dopplegangers. Just in time for the weekend before the primary.
Ladra thinks she found a new hobby.
Let’s start with John Wayne’s company on the primary ballot for the chance to go up against Democrat Rep. Joe Garcia in November. And the first one up is former Miami-Dade Commissioner Joe Martinez, who is a dead ringer to Yogi Bera.
For years, people have been telling me that former Congressman David “Nine Lives” Rivera looks like British comedian Rowan Atkinson, also known as Mr. Bean. And now I see it. We should call him Sr. Frijol.
Then there is Miami-Dade School Board Member Carlos “Crybaby” Curbelo. A fellow Curbelo critic sent me this comparison to cartoon character Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten, Bart’s best friend on The Simpsons. He’s a little wimpy and whiny and weak and naive, maybe even, and allows himself to be led around by the malicious menace known as Bart Simpson (read: insert elected or lobbyist here). ‘Nuff said.
Each of the aforementioned are looking to be nominated Tuesday to the ballot as the Republican choice against Democrat U.S. Rep. Joe Garcia, who looks like one of the three stooges, especially on a bad hair day, and sometimes acts like one too, especially on a bad earwax day.
Turning to other locally elected officials, doesn’t anyone else think that Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos “Cry Wolf” Gimenez look a little bit like Leslie Nielsen from the Airplane movies? Sometimes, he’s just as hilarious, too.
Miami-Dade Commissioner Jose “Pepe” Diaz has an uncanny resemblance to actor Danny Trejo. But is it the tough, kick-ass Machete character from the movies or is the beat up real life shell of a man?
She’s probably going to love this, but Miami-Dade Commissioner Lynda Bell reminds Ladra a little of Sarah Palin — and not just because of their core Republican right beliefs. There’s a certain yo no se que but it’s there.
Maybe it’s a professor thing, but South Miami Mayor Phillip Stoddard and Bill Nye the Science Guy have got the same aura going, doncha think?
And my 14-year-old daughter is the one who told me that Miami Beach Mayor Philip “Fix It” Levine looks like “that coach in 21 Jump Street that is really a drug dealer.” Actor Ron Riggle also played the hard ass cop in The Hangover.
At the state level, there are some interesting dopplegangers. Everytime Ladra watches Criminal Minds, she feels like she’s watching Florida Sen. Anitere Flores take out the bad guy. But it’s really Special Agent Emily Prentiss of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.
People tell me that they call State Rep. Frank Artiles “Maguilla Gorilla” in Tallahassee. Is it the square head? The crooked little dopey grin with dimples? Oh, oh… that jutting chin, right? Or is it something else?
Since we’re obviously including cartoon characters, Ladra is not about to discriminate against good ol’ fashioned dolls. So, with that, who else thinks that Attorney General Pam Bondi is a dead ringer for Lawyer Barbie?
And State Rep. Jeanette Nuñez is going to hate me but I always thought she looks a little like Shelley Duval… what do you think?
Maybe that should be the last one, at least until the next installment of Political Cortadito Dopplegangers. Always leave them wanting more, right?
By the way, feel free to join the fun. We will be immediately accepting suggestions to add to our volume II and forthcoming and inevitable coffee table book.
Political doppelgangers for our pre-election amusement added by Ladra on
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