Joe Carollo vs Francis Suarez continues; Miami mayor says he’ll back recall

The grudge match between Miami Commissioner Joe Carollo and Mayor Francis Suarez — a Hatfields and McCoys style family feud that goes back more than two decades — ratcheted up a notch or two at the commission meeting Tuesday. And it may have pushed Suarez to back the recall effort against his (or his dad’s) arch nemesis.

Of course, Carollo started it. Doesn’t he always?

First, he wanted to talk publicly — and embarrass Suarez publicly — about the arrest last week of the mayor’s communications director, Rene Pedrosa. But Suarez , who reportedly has nothing to do with the incident or the investigation, wouldn’t have it. Not only because he’s already been stung by the news — if you google Rene Pedrosa, every headline says some version of “Miami mayor’s aide arrested.” And that’s the G version. But also because Carollo has been targeting Suarez since way before this — and now he is using it as a distraction from his own recall woes.

In fact, Ladra wouldn’t be surprised if the whole Pedrosa thing wasn’t a trap set to hurt the mayor, who Ladra and others think Carollo is trying to force out even before he finishes his term next year. Yes, a honey trap, of sorts. I’m not excusing the onetime colleague (he was a TV journalist before he crossed to the other side) for falling into the trap. That’s his fault, his demons, his weakness. But I’m not the only one who thinks it was a honey trap. Especially if someone identified his faults, his demons, his weakness.

Think about it. It’s the perfect set-up. And Rene, el pobre, was the perfect fall guy.

That means Carollo, then, would have also victimized that 17-year-old boy, who likely didn’t know he was being — is still being — used to distract and deflect. Or is it just a coincidence that the boy’s mother was holding and looking at the phone when Pedrosa’s alleged eggplant picture — following the baited picture from the boy — went through? Is it just a coincidence that Carollo was ready at the press conference where police announced the arrest with copies of Pedrosa’s original application, which omits DUI and loitering charges? Another cover-up he blames on the mayor?

Ladra doesn’t believe in coincidences. Seems Carollo has been building a case. Investigators will find out if mom was tipped off.

And, btw, las malas lenguas say other commissioners have the same problem with members of their staffs and their original applications. Carollo’s own chief of staff — or someone with his name and birthdate — has a 1998 arrest record for prostitution. It’s unclear if he was picking up or laying down. But did he disclose that on his application? Or did Carollo let him amend it afterwards? City Attorney Victoria Mendez has stalled in getting me access to what should be easily accessible employee public records. They were easily accessible to Carollo. And Ladra has little confidence they won’t be altered if she takes much longer.

Anyway, Carollo — who had told (read: threatened) some people he would do or say somethingbombastic at this meeting — tried to make good on his promise.

“You’re the only one that’s been sitting up there trying to influence, uh, this body constantly at the same time that you want to be exempt from the Sunshine Law,” Carollo said, and Ladra doesn’t think even he knows what he is talking about.

Then Suarez got loud. “I’m not going to sit here and let you tell me how to do my job. I was elected by 86% of the voters. I’m not going to allow you to tell me how to do my job and where to do it and when to do it,” he said, with a determined face (just look at those eyebrows. “And you’re not going to be able to rewrite the record, recreate the record. You’re just not going to do it.”

Quipped Carollo: “If you would have presented this same attitude, this macho type attitude that you’re trying to present today, maybe you wouldn’t have the mess that you have on the second floor with your esteemed former adviser.”

“In fact,” Suarez shot back, “you’ve had more turnover in your office and questions about things.” What things, mayor? Do tell! Ladra is going to have to make yet another public records request that the city attorney can take her sweet time with.

There was important stuff to be discussed, affordable housing, a ban on bad fertilizer, the Morningside pool, an invasion of peacocks and much more, including an interesting item about illumination poles lobbied by former Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart , who made a rare appearance, that was deferred for 30 days (more on that later).

But not before Carollo also blamed the mayor for the recall effort, as some enthusiasts sat in the commission chambers wearing red and white “Recall Joe” t-shirts. “You’re already trying to recall me,” Carollo said, almost as an aside.

Said Suarez: “I’m not trying to recall you.”

“Of course you are,” said Carollo, who is desperate to make the recall look like a political rather than a grass roots effort.

“I’m not, but I will eventually,” Suarez said, answering the question that many have wondered: Would he support the recall?

“I may have to join that effort,” Suarez said, just matter-of-fact like. “Because you’re more concerned about arguing with me and debating with me all day long and trying to manage and run the meeting and take over the city than you are doing the work of the people that are here.”

Boom!

For the first time in months, Suarez was showing a little spine. Damn! People might even remember why they voted for him. Alas, it was short-lived as, before this heated meeting ended, he left to have a birthday dinner with his wife. He left for dinner! In the middle of this full frontal attack. Before the discussion about the investigation into the city manager’s deck. Ladra doesn’t know how he could. Because we couldn’t keep our eyes off it.

The opening salvo was just round one of what was more like a boxing match between these two longtime rivals than a government meeting. These commission meetings are becoming such good drama, that many people are not getting work done, watching the live stream on their phones or laptops instead. I know at least one former mayor and a former state rep who were watching on twitter at the same time as Ladra was Thursday afternoon (you know who you are).

There was some back and forth about the mayor’s ability (or not, depending on who you ask) to veto — Ladra has to go back to see the video because we do need bathroom breaks — and Carollo, looking like a hurt jilted girlfriend, also chided Baby X for not inviting him to city key presentations. Not key city presentation. Keys to the city presentations. Seriously? He doesn’t have enough already to bother Suarez with? He jealously asked Commission Chairman Keon Hardemon if he had been invited to the “Will Smith party” (Hardemon said he had not) and said the mayor was being rude by not inviting them.

Yes, that’s right. Carollo said the mayor was being rude. Also, what a needy and petty piece of lint would be so desperate to be invited to such ceremonial crap that he would whine about it in public? In an official capacity?

The conversation morphed into the criteria for getting a key and Ladra has to admit the city has been a little fast and loose lately with them, not so much for Gente de Zona — who can’t just “break” with the Cuban government and call them the liars they are because they still have family back on the island — as for, say, someone like Tony Robbins, who has had multiple women say he sexually assaulted them when he was a counselor at a summer camp and they were teenagers. But for the commission, especially Carollo and Commissioner Manolo Reyes, it was all about the Cubans. They said Will Smith — who got a key with Martin Lawrence during the promotion of Bad Boys For Life — “promoted” Cuba because he ran in the Havana Marathon in 2018.

Ladra would like to see those hypocrites, all Three Amigos, return every single contribution they have gotten from anyone else who has gone to Cuba or sends their relatives fula, which is Cuban slang for U.S. dollars.

Anyway, Suarez let Carollo win this one. He will add the word Cuba to the google search they do to vet key-to-the-city recipients (is that really all they do?). That means maybe Ladra can get one some day. Oh, let me dream!

Look, the mayor is not all that he was supposed to be, and the city manager may have taken liberty with a deck repair permit. Maybe. Maybe not (more on that later). But who cares? Other than Carollo? And is that because he was caught doing work at his own Coconut Grove house without the proper building permits? Emilio Gonzalez resigned. His last day is Tuesday. You won, Joe. But no, he wants to scorch the Earth. He wants to punish all the people he says are “protecting the city manager.”

It’s a scary day to be a City of Miami employee and Ladra bets lots of resumes are being updated.

The full-on war for what really amounts to a bean hill in a flat city with much more important shit at stake is yes, entertaining on one hand, but also exhausting AF. Residents are really getting fed up. Carollo has no idea how much easier it is getting by the day to pick up signatures and volunteers for the recall effort. Ladra thinks they got a bunch of the latter Tuesday. In addition to those sitting in chambers, staring Carollo down.

One speaker at the meeting used his time during public comments to scold the commissioners for all the infighting.

“You deserve better for your office. You deserve better for us,” he said, emotionally. “Think of us for a change. All of you need to step up your game.”

Ladra’s heart soared for a moment. But then Diaz de la Portilla, Carollo’s new henchman (and vice versa), put a stop to him and fast. “Is he here on an item or just for political speech? Talk about what’s on [the agenda]. I’ve been in the senate [yes, we knoooow] and we’ve never had people give political speeches and call us names,” DLP said.

Yes, actually, you did. But you call them legislators.

The city of Miami is becoming a serious problem. Not only are there petty political attacks getting in the way of needed and real and important business, not only is the power shift creating some very frightening possibilities of quid pro quo for developers and other donors, but freedom of speech is also being stifled. Commissioners don’t want people to speak on anything that is not on the agenda, but they also want to be the only ones who can put something on the agenda? What? Isn’t that a Catch 22?

Sounds like a dictatorship to me. With all that talk about not promoting Cuba because it is an oppressive regime.

State Rep. Bryan Avila has proposed the dissolution of Opa-Locka (more on that later) after several years of its dysfunction, misfeasance and malfeasance done by city officials and electeds.

Maybe he ought to start watching these Miami city commission meetings.

Francis Suarez, Joe Carollo, Miami politics, recall

Joe Carollo vs Francis Suarez continues; Miami mayor says he’ll back recall added by Ladra on February 14, 2020
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