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Su Alcaldito accuses me of theft

  • SumoMe

As if his alcalditowear has something more than a nostalgic and comic value, Hialeah’s alcaldito Carlos Hernandez went bonkers Saturday — the last day of early voting at the JFK library — when he saw me walking by with one of his campaign t-shirts.

“She stole my shirt. Call the police,” he told his assistant, Arnie Alonso, who had offered (probably as a joke) to give me a shirt. But being the political junkie I am, and a collector of political memorabilia, I said I absolutely wanted a shirt. “Will you wear it,” Alonso asked. “Nah. But I want it for my collection. I have a [Miami-Dade Mayor] Carlos Gimenez shirt and a shirt from Katie Edwards failed bid for state rep last year and a couple of others.” I also collect signs, I told him, and would love to have one of su alcaldito’s — but with the mirrors on it (supposedly to ward off the evil eye).

Alonso, who has been a good sport during this week of early voting. Maybe he sees the writing on the wall like Council President Isis “Gavelgirl” Garcia-Martinez did when she walked off for a private chat with former State Sen. Rudy Garcia, who is running to unseatsu alcaldito. But Alonso is in trouble anyway right now for giving me that t-shirt. Alcaldito had a cow.

“She stole my shirt,” he told Alonso as he rushed over to get someone to confiscate it from me.

“I need that shirt back. Call the police and write a report,” su alcaldito instructed Alonso.

“No, I gave it to her,” Alonso said, because he doesn’t lie, at least not all the time, like his boss.

“Why did you give it to her?”

“It’s okay,” Alonso said, trying to calm him down. “She can’t do anything with your shirt. It’s ok.”

“I don’t want her to have my shirt.”

Really? Really? What is he? Six years old?

“I’m not going to do voodoo or anything with your shirt. I’m not santero like you,” I told him, referring to the mirrors on his signs and the broom and recogedor in front of his camionsito, which is also a Santeria religion custom.

“No, that’s Raul’s people,” su alcaldito said, in reference to photos posted by council candidate Tony Vega’s supporters that infer that Barbara Hernandez, president of the employees union (which this week gave Martinez their endorsement), was providing former Mayor Raul Martinez some spiritual leverage the other day — as if he needs it.

6 Responses to Su Alcaldito accuses me of theft

  1. Sid MacLeod Reply

    October 29, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Show the comments! It bares the hypocrisy in a public forum. Be more transparent than these haters.

  2. Ladra, the public watch dog Reply

    October 29, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    Hey, Sid!! Come back to Miami for a while… it is sooooo much fun here.

    I do post all the comments that are not just bad words and baseless accusations against people with no real substance or context. But if its bad words and accusations WITH context and/or substance and is relevant, yep, I publish it, even if it's critical of me.

    Thanks for following, though, and the helping to explain journalism (facebook comment) to someone… the people here just don't get it. ;P

  3. Lickerpoet Reply

    October 29, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Somehow it seems counter intuitive that election day should be held on All Saints Day. The more that I read on this blog, the less I believe there are any Saints amongst the candidates. Alas, governance in Hialeah is more Halloween than All Saints Day.

    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” C. S. Lewis

    ————————————————
    Martinez, Garcia and Hernandez were stranded on a desert island. They found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, a genie appearing, offering them three wishes. They all decided that it was only fair that each one would have one wish.
    Martinez wished that he would be the US Senator from Florida, and whoosh, he disappeared. Garcia knew the Florida State budget, inside and out, and that he would make a damn good Florida State Governor. For this he wished, and whoosh, he was gone. And Hernandez, he threw the lamp back into the sea without uttering a wish; for, his wish had already come true.

  4. Anonymous Reply

    October 31, 2011 at 9:50 am

    wow LADRA, what a classy journalist you have become….Arnie should have never given you a t-shirt, even as a joke. You have shown the tendency of not being partial.

    Hernandez needs to be concerned, who knows who you would try to get close to wearing his t-shirt and the crap you may say. Soon you will not be in Hialeah anymore……thank god.

  5. Mr. Boniato Head. Reply

    October 31, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    One more day… either way Hialeah is screwed, but I hope Garcia and Hernandez lose. Martinez may be shady, but he's the only one who can fix the terrible mess Robaina left while he used the city to boost his private businesses.

  6. Anonymous Reply

    October 31, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    blah,blah,blah
    your blog are really lousy.i have seen you at JFK during early voting and I am not impressed by you.You call people names and call yourself a journalist?Please why dont you start by taking a BATH!!!! You look very DIRTY!!!!

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